The Kisser Is Out
by MyMagentaPeach
Summary: Blaine, after transferring to McKinley, has to deal with some unwanted attention from the girls populating the school. And at first he has no clue how to cope.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:**I do not own Glee.

**A/N: **So how does Blaine cope in the first weeks at McKinley, I kept wondering. Because it is a big change and it can't have been easy. I reckon his new environment would have had him go a little nuts and somewhat desperate, for a short while, so yeah, that is how this slightly crack-fic came about. And also of course because I wanted Kurt and Blaine to be less reserved in their affection for each other all season and I thought this might have been a great start to it.

We all know how that really turned out *sighs*

Enjoy!

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><p><strong>The Kisser Is Out<strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

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><p>Blaine stood at his locker, sorting the history book he would not need anymore today back in, when three girls walked up behind him.<p>

"Hey, cuty-pie, you are new around here, right?" He heard a screechy voice, almost shrieking.

Blaine took a deep breath and put a polite smile on his face before he turned around to face them.

The smile was quickly replaced by a frown though and he had to do a double take because, _'… really, I am pretty sure they can't be triplets, but whoa, just whoa. How is that even possible?'_

Their make-up was so overdone, their bleach blond hair so blond, they looked like some identical and creepy dolls out of a bad horror movie. And Blaine could do nothing but stare no matter how impolite he considered it to be himself.

Really their noses were pretty much the only feature left you could tell them apart by still, _'… and probably only until they are old enough to convince their parents to get them matching nose jobs,'_ Blaine thought to himself.

Trying to look anywhere but the horrific display before him, Blaine's eyes darted around the half-empty hallway as he politely said, "Hi. Yes, I started here a couple of days ago."

Then he spotted Kurt coming around a corner, caring several huge garments bags, _'He must have just gotten them from his car to quickly return to the auditorium before lunch.'_

Blaine knew they held some costumes from the school's theater group Kurt had taken home with him over the summer to do some repair work on, _"For practice," _Kurt had said in working with not brand new fabrics, and in case they would need some of them for their school musical this year, which had not been decided upon just yet.

'_Thank goodness,' _Blaine thought a brilliant smile taking over his features as his eyes met Kurt's and he tried to get past the Cerberus before him drenched in make-up and perfume, to lend Kurt a helping hand.

But the utterly oblivious girls in front of him mistook the smile as directed at themselves, moved in closer, and Blaine only noticed too late, when glancing back at them to excuse himself, _'Shit.'_

Blaine looked back up quickly trying to find Kurt again in the now more crowded hallway. But practically pinned against his locker by the three bleach blond dolls he could not have gotten to Kurt if he had found him again, which he did not.

'_I wish sometimes I knew how to be rude without feeling bad for it after. Dalton seriously needs to integrate some classes about how to get rid of unwanted attention into their sex ed,' _Blaine thought as he tried not to listen to the mindless chatter of the three before him, hoping they would have somewhere to be in their lunch break other than in his face.

After what could have been no more than minutes, but felt much much longer to Blaine, someone pushed past the girls' row, and flung an arm around his shoulders, "Dude, I was looking for you."

They had taken a few steps before Blaine could breathe again without the anything but intoxicating smell of the girls perfume in his nose.

He took another deep breath, his left hand running over his forehead in the hope of shaking some of the headache he still felt after what had just happened, before turning to look at … "Finn, thank you."

"No problem man."

"I seriously have no clue what to do about the girls at this school," Blaine said taking another deep breath.

Finn nodded, "But you need to do something, and fast, or this is going to get much worse."

"Don't say that," Blaine said shuddering, "I don't get it anyway. I thought being gay travels like wildfire at this school?"

Finn ignored Blaine's last question, probably not sure how to answer that himself, until they came to a halt in front of the school's cafeteria, "Those girls looked like freshmen to me. You coming?" Finn asked nodding towards the cafeteria's entrance.

"I …, will you tell Kurt I'm alright? I just need some fresh air so I'll be out at the football field."

"Dude, Kurt sent me to come get you after he saw those three hanging around you. He will be right back from the auditorium, he's excited to spend some time with you after you haven't had the same classes all morning. Also, the football field? That is not the safest place for you. Those girls might not know about you and Kurt but a lot of the football players do. And as much as I wish I could, even with Coach Biest's help I can't keep all of them in check at all times."

"I …, I …."

"Hey, how about we get together after Glee today and try to figure something out, and you just come to lunch with us now. Kurt would kill me if you got hurt."

"Okay," Blaine replied with a sigh, following Finn to the food counter hoping for no more strange run-ins, at least today.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: IMPORTANT!  
><strong>For those of you who have already red part of this story, **Chapter 1 is the NEW one, not this one!** I wanted some more backstory to what happens in this choir room scene, and I hope you will enjoy it.

Also, I know Lauren is no longer in the club at this point, but I always have loved the hilariousness that are her and Puck, so I made good use of my artistic freedom.

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><p><strong>The Kisser is Out<strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 2<br>**

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><p>„So that's it for today guys," Mr. Schue said after Glee practice the next day.<p>

Just as everybody was about to get up, Blaine jumped to his feet.

"Can I just make an announcement."

"Sure, Blaine, go ahead."

Kurt squinted his eyes, and his thoughts began to run wild as he watched Blaine walk up to the, as Miss Sylvester would call it, black shiny thing. Before he reached it though, Blaine spun around to face the group.

"So …, I had a talk with Finn yesterday…."

Santana rolled her eyes, and Puck and Lauren gave each other a nothing-good-can-come-of-this glare.

"… and he told me about the difficulties you guys had last year raising money, to go to Nationals. Now I know, the year has just started, but since I have full confidence in us making it to Nationals this year too, I want to make use of every opportunity to make some money for the tickets we are bound to eventually need."

"Anderson, get to the point already. We are not your private school boys who will quietly sit through a 20minute speech without making you pay for it," Santana could be heard from the back row.

"Lopez, I am getting to it, keep your calm just one more second."

"Blaine?" Kurt said with a worried look on his face.

"I want to open a kissing booth," Blaine said calmly.

"Why would you want to kiss a booth?" Brittany could be heard whispering to no one in particular in the silence that followed Blaine's announcement.

Meanwhile all the eyes in the room were darting between Blaine and Kurt, waiting for either Blaine to go on, or Kurt to snap, whichever would happen first.

Kurt just sat there for a moment, starring at his boyfriend, mouth half open "After what happened with you and HerWhoMustNotBeNamed last year? Are you serious? Blaine, why are you looking at me like that?"

"Kurt, I love you, I would never do that to you," Blaine said with a stern look.

"Then don't Anderson. Can we go now?" Santana asked.

No one had expected Blaine to snap, or known that he even could. Maybe he had just spent too much time with Santana over the summer.

"Damn it Lopez, SHUT UP! I am still new here, and I am sick of girls still coming up to me asking me for my phone number, or people coming up talking to me bad about you guys and especially about you, Kurt. I want to make myself seen, so I am asking for your help. Now will you listen!"

Everyone stared at him in shock, even Santana sank back into her seat, looking now decisively more surprised than annoyed.

"And you think a kissing booth, so kissing a bunch of girls of all things will change that?" Mercedes asked confused.

"Who said anything about kissing any girls?" Blaine replied with a still very serious expression.

"Well, I am in. That is if you put that blazer of yours back on. I have always had a thing for uniforms." Puck said instantly, and Lauren mouthed a silent "Hot!" at him.

Had Kurt not been starring at Finn, he would have thrown his best bitch-glare Puck and Lauren's way.

"Finn! What have you done to my boyfriend?"


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:  
><strong>What can I say other than there is a special place in my heart for crack-fics. Hilarious as they are and I hope mine to be one day.

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><p><strong>The Kisser Is Out<strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 3<strong>

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><p>"I…nothing…I mean we were making out on our couch yesterday, when the idea …," Finn said with his usual clueless look.<p>

"Finn!" Half the club screamed at him in unison.

"I am joking. But it seems only Blaine got that."

Kurt starring persistently at Finn could swear Finn was blushing slightly _'What the hell is that about?'_

"Well that is because Blaine was there," Mercedes said rolling her eyes.

Kurt got to his feet and walked over to Blaine, having had enough of all that nonsense Finn was talking.

"Love," Kurt used the pet name, knowing it would instantly get him Blaine's full attention, "… what is this all about?"

His voice instantly softening now that he was talking to Kurt alone, Blaine said, "Like I said, I am sick of people assuming me to be someone I'm not, and the sooner I can get the message out there the better."

"You know, I know, you are not crazy enough to come up with such an idea on your own. We'll have to keep you away from Finn's, and come to think of it - although she seems to have had nothing to do with it this time - Rachel's kind of crazy from now on. If that means I will have to chain myself to you, so be it."

"Chains, kinky Hummel, would never have taken you for that type."

"Shut up Lopez."

"Hey, you know only Anderson is allowed to call me that. It's our thing."

"Fine," Kurt replied turning back to Blaine, "What will it take for you not to follow Finn's insane advice and open that guy-kissing-guys-kissing-booth? Finn, I still can't believe you of all people suggested that," Kurt added raising his voice.

"Well, some heavy making out in the hallways, and sultry looks wherever we go might just do the trick too," Blaine smirked.

"And it'll be so much more fun for me than watching you kiss a bunch of guys," Kurt stated.

"Me too, Kurt. Me too," Blaine replied then blurted out before he could stop himself, "The test run yesterday was no fun at all."

Kurt froze. "So that is why Finn blushed just now? You kissed Finn? I am dreaming. This is not happening. Finn, I can't believe I am saying this, but… WHAT THE …?"

"Relax dude, it was just a peck on the cheek, with me at least." Finn said looking utterly and irritatingly unashamed.

"What do you mean with you at least? What does he mean with him at least Blaine?"

"Mike might have been there," Blaine admitted in a small voice.

"MIKE!" was all Kurt could bring himself to say.

"I was curious, always have been, and Blaine is actually kind of my type," Mike said looking anywhere but at Kurt.

"I am so turned on right now," Tina interjected before pulling Mike by his shirt into an instantly heated kiss.

"Am I the only one who hasn't had a go?" Puck complained whiny- voiced.

Kurt who really had had enough of all that nonsense marched over to Puck before anyone had a chance to stop him, and planted one on him. Hard.

"Here, will that shut you all up now."

Puck just sat there starring back at him.

"I take that as a yes, Puck."

Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt when he returned to the front. "I'm sorry baby."

"Shouldn't that be my line, after I just kissed another guy."

"Well, considering I kissed Mike yesterday, even though it was nowhere nearly as passionate as what you just shared with Puck"- Kurt had to huff at that -"I think we are even."

"Strangely I cannot even bring myself to be jealous of you and Mike. Why is that?"

"Because you know I love only you," Blaine said with a smile. "And probably because I said I did not like doing it at all."

"It was kind of hot," Mike whispered to Tina, which only seemed to turn her on more, as she pulled Mike closer still, and began to kiss him again.

"I heard that Mike. Stay away from my man."

"I'll make sure of that Kurt, don't worry," Tina said, then added in a hushed voice, "unless I get to be there too."

"TINA!" Kurt exclaimed, clearly way more amused than angry.

With that everyone began to get up and leave.

Ten minutes later, when Miss Pillsbury walked into the choir room Mr. Schue still sat there, on one of the chairs, a very confused expression on his face.

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><p>AN: I could write some more stuff surrounding this if there is interest? Review, let me know if there are any parts that you would like to see, like the awkwarness that must have been **the practice run of Finn, Mike and Blaine**; or how **Tina tries to set Mike and Blaine up to kiss again**. I think that would be hilarious. What do you think? Hope you enjoyed this read. It was fun writing and rewriting.


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